If I were a Boy
by F i o r e N e v e
Summary: A depressing Zack/Aerith short fic. Zack/Aerith Zack/Cissnei hint of Cloud x Aerith. Sort of AU.
1. If I Were A Boy

Aerith woke up to a bright light shining glaring through her bedroom window, she woke up in the bed alone. She got up, got dressed and went down stairs and find her Fiance - Zack talking with his friends from work, Rude and Reno, they were in the same line of work as he was, Zack barely talked to Aerith about them or anything work related.

She heard them laughing and chuckling together, probably over typical man stuff. She sat behind a corner of a wall eavesdropping, and heard a female voice there as well, and gasped into her hand.

"It was thanks to you that the mission went a great as it did, Zack" The woman said in a modest feminine and polite voice "Cissnei, you know I couldn't have done it without you by my side." Zack said calling her name familiarly.

Aerith heard that and returned upstairs quickly before Zack heard her.

_If I were a boy even just for a day_  
_I'd roll out of bed in the morning_  
_And throw on what I wanted_  
_And go drink beer with the guys_

_And chase after girls_  
_I'd kick it with who I wanted_  
_And I'd never get confronted for it_  
_'Cause they stick up for me_

Aerith sat hugging her knees, her eyes dry from tears she had been crying, she felt so alone, waiting for him again. She grabbed her phone and looked on it for messages that may have been left for her by him. There was nothing, no calls, recent messages. She threw the phone at the wall and cupped her face in her hands crying more. She ran her hands through her bangs sadly, she got up quickly to straighten herself up.

She sat in front of the mirror on a small stool looking at her own tear stained face. Her eyes had become red from tears.

Tears started to fall again she couldn't hold them back, she slowly hung her face into her hands, she stopped grabbing a cloth to wipe running makeup from her face, lipstick that had been worn to prepare for a date, eyeshadow and mascara that had shaded her now sad looking eyes was wiped away slowly.

Aerith went into the bathroom, she was washing her face, she grabbed in cupped hands some water and splashed her face one, grabbing a towel and drying her cheeks and eyes and then the rest of her face followed.

She started to cry again as she lent against the wall slowly sliding to the ground, hugging her knees letting the sobs come.

_If I were a boy_  
_I think I could understand_  
_How it feels to love a girl_  
_I swear I'd be a better man_

"Hey..." Aerith asked and turned to Zack, she was wearing a dress she bought for a date they had planned. He was going through messages on his phone eagerly. "...How do you think this looks? Do you like it?" She smiled and twirled around to show him the dress.

"Yeah sure, Aerith you know you look good in everything..." He said absent minded as he was still looking through his phone messages.

She turned away slowly feeling a bit foolish for asking him such a dumb question._  
_

_I'd listen to her_  
_'Cause I know how it hurts_  
_When you lose the one you wanted_  
_'Cause he's taking you for granted_  
_And everything you had got destroyed_

Zack and Aerith sat at a restaurant table, just across form her Zack sat he was flirting with her acting perfectly normal, Zack smiled at her and Aerith forced a smile back. His phone rang. He picked it up and looked at the number and made a dubious face.

"Who is it?" Aerith asked as she saw his strange face.

"Its work stuff..." He said and went on "Hey, Aerith I have to take this 'kay?" He said smiling and caressing her cheek. "No, of course I understand, go." She smiled weakly. And turned to watch him leave the restaurant alone, she hugged her ribs in pain, hanging her head low.

A waitress came up to the table and dropped a slip down.

"Here's your tab, ma'am."

Aerith watched Zack leave from the window seat.

_If I were a boy_  
_I would turn off my phone_  
_Tell everyone it's broken_  
_So they'd think that I was sleeping alone_

Zack and Aerith were at a party being thrown for a successful mission that had been completed, Zack was with Rude, Reno and Cissnei. They were all talking about work and many other things that they had gone through that day, they were laughing and telling great stories.

Aerith watched from a distance. She saw Zack lean down intimately to Cissnei's ear and whisper something to her, he smiled flirtatiously and got a shy smile out of Cissnei who kissed his neck softly.

Aerith turned away shocked pretending not to have seen anything, she held her hand to her mouth her finger tips touching her lips as she felt a struggle to breathe.

_I'd put myself first_  
_And make the rules as I go_  
_'Cause I know that she'd be faithful_  
_Waiting for me to come home, to come home_

Zack and Aerith sat at home after the party that had been thrown in Zack and his teams honor. Aerith was finished getting ready for bed as she stepped into the next room and heard Zack speaking to someone on the phone.

"Aerith and I are probably going to sleep now, we could go do something after she falls asleep...yeah...okay see you then." He hung up the phone and Aerith stepped out into the room with a determined face, hands on her hips, she looked at Zack and shook her head in expectancy and disappointment.

"Zack, I'm getting sick of this!" She asserted.

"What, Aerith?" He had no clue what was going on.

"Late night calls, dates, ditching me on our dates!" She shouted angrily "I _know_ its Cissnei, the woman from work!" She held her hand to her heart in anger. "How could you? Do I mean nothing to you anymore! I though you lov-" she was cut off midway. "Its not like I'm sleeping with her. He said in a patronizing tone becoming distant and cold.

Aerith felt breath pent up in her lungs, she could have sworn she swallowed her heart, or maybe her heart was leaving her body, why did he say that? She gave a painfully sad look and watched Zack get up and start to leave the room, he put on a jacket and walked to the door.

"Don't wait up." He exited the house afterward.

Aerith lent back against the wall she couldn't believe what he just said to her. She held her hand to her mouth gasping, tears started to fall from her cheek slowly meeting her hand, she felt the warm water trickling from her eyes more rapidly.

_But you're just a boy_..._  
_


	2. Halo

_Remember those walls I built  
Well baby they're tumbling down  
And they didn't even put up a fight  
They didn't even make a sound  
I found a way to let you in  
But I never really had a doubt  
Standing in the light of your Halo  
__ I've got my angel now _

Aerith heard a knock at the door and wiped the tears from her eyes, walking to the window and peeking at who might be there, before hurrying to the door and answering, she saw the same uniform Zack wore at work and laughed at herself in disbelief.

"I've had all the soldiers I can handle for one...day..." She drifted off at the sight of the person in front of her.  
"Oh Cloud! Sorry! I've been having some problems..." she invited the soldier from Zacks work place in to the house, he was one of the few work related people to Zack that she knew and was close to.

"Aerith, is something wrong?" he asked in a rough yet somewhat held back voice.  
"What...?No...Ofcourse not..." she said tears building in her eyes as she fell back onto a seat in the living room of the house and cried into her hands.

Cloud eyes widened and he followed her sitting down next to her, he began comfort her.

_It's like I've been awakened  
Every rule I had you breakin'  
It's the risk that I'm takin'  
I ain't never gonna shut you out _

"Well I'm here for you if you need anything." he said with a weak smile.  
"So you wanna get out of here you look like something is on your mind?" He offered, Aerith looked at with a queasy smile and nodded.  
"I could use the fresh air, my eyes are all puffy from crying, I bet I look like a clown, huh" she laughed at her self.

"I don't think so you look cute with that shiny red nose." He made eye contact with her dim and sad emerald eyes that seemed to light up as they stared at each other when Aerith started to giggle causing him to laugh as well. He scoffed with false offense and shook off the laugh.  
"Whats so funny?" He smiled at her brow narrowed.

_Everywhere I'm looking now  
I'm surrounded by your embrace  
Baby I can see you halo _

"Is my nose really shiny?" She giggled and nudged Cloud with her shoulder, he looked at her and said "Lemme see?" He examined her face.  
"No, its not that shiny..." he lied a little and admitted "Okay, its really shiny..." Aerith pushed him and laughed "You're horrible!"

They wrestled on the couch tossing pillows at each other, laughing, smiling. Aerith felt as though nothing bad had even happened to her while she laughed and smiled with the blond man who lightly dodged a pillow she tossed his way. Aerith grabbed him and yanked him to the floor laughing as she pinned him down.

She smiled and said in a giggle "Pinned ya."

_You know you're my saving grace  
You're everything I need and more  
__ It's written all over you face _

Cloud was beneath her giving a facade of disappointment, she still pinned him and he said "You know I let you win?" she laughed at him and challenged "Fine lets go again, punk." She said in an over-exaggerated intimidating voice and before she knew it Cloud had lightly toppled her over and was above her now.

He came down to her face, her cheeks were lightly blushing as he said "Pinned ya" and they both stared at each other, until Aerith rose up kissing him lightly then pulling away, Cloud gave a shocked look and swooped down kissing her back. They were both too caught up in their kiss to have heard the phone ringing with a message that read as;

_'Incoming call from Zack Fair'_...

_Baby I can feel your halo  
__ Pray it won't fade away... _


	3. Promise

_Come enjoy the life, baby, take a ride_  
_I just wanna find you, you_  
_Baby you and I can have a good time_  
_Tell me what you like ooh, ooh_

Aerith was whipping batter for a cake, Zack was had been gone for a while it was late in the night, she had no clue where he was, or what he was doing or _who_ for that matter.  
She had the stereo on playing classic 50's music, she loved it and she loved cooking to it, and she loved dancing to it - even if she though she wasn't the best dancer, she still enjoyed dancing while she cooked though alone wasn't as good as she had hoped.

After what happened with Cloud she and him mutually agreed it was better to forget about it, they both knew Zack and Cloud was relevantly close at work with him, Aerith and Zack had agreed to fix things for the better; they _were_ engaged, they had to act it and _try_ to at least fix their problems.

_I'm looking for somebody I can call boo_  
_Looking for the only one that I can give my all to_  
_Tell me if it's you, you, you_  
_What you wanna do, do, do? Make ya move_

The radio talk host announced a Song that was playing he said "~And that was _Stay_ by _Maurice Williams & the Zodiacs_ - here's the next song we have lined up - its called _Love is Strange_ by _Mickie and Sylvia_." it one of Aerith's favorites, she quickly tossed the food from her hands and turned the radio's volume up as loud as possible, loud enough for all their neighbors to hear at least.

She picked up her instructions for the cake and continued cooking it, swaying her hips to the song. She began to sing it aloud as she stirred her cake.

"Nice dance." a familiar voice appeared with a teasing tone to it.

Clouds compliment rang through the song and Aerith turned to him startled, he was giving her a weak smile.  
"Oh, hey Cloud!" she chuckled nervously.

_You can be my teacher I'll do homework_  
_You can give me extra credit baby I'll do more work_  
_What you wanna do, do, do?_  
_Now it's me and you, you, you_  
_The mood_

"What are you doing?" he laughed teasingly a little at her display of her hidden talent.  
"Dancing!" She exclaimed puffing her cheeks out. " - Badly but _still_ dancing." She giggled modestly. "No, it was good, you should have your own show in Vegas." he teased her more. "Teehee, thanks Cloud..." She said as she slung cake batter at him from a spoon, her eyes widened and her hand came to cover a laughing smile.

"Hey!" He narrowed his brow, mocking anger, he grabbed the spoon slinging some on her as well. "Hey!" She repeated his words and huffed out hot breaths, she giggled as she threw some on the blond man once more.  
"That's it, Gainsborough." He chased after her with the bowl of cake mix in hand, she imitated a hiss as he came closer and ran off laughing and giggling. "_No!_" She imitated a corny classic scream as he came closer with the bowl in hand, Aerith yanked it from him with unexpected haste; dumping it over his head instead - it dripped down his black shirt and seeped through messy spikes of hair.

_The mood is so right, how it feels so right_  
_You can be my prince, my knight_  
_You can be my Superman, save me here I am_

"You look good this way..._Strife_." She imitated him in a whispered with a giggle in her voice.  
He gave a defeated look and swooped some from his face, wiping it on her nose. She gasped and exclaimed "Cheater!" she slapped his arm lightly, wiping cake and tasting it from her finger tip, she gave a pleased smile "Not that bad..." she eyed him with her emerald greens, their faces got inches closer, and closer -

_'Cause baby, there's nothing I won't do_  
_To spend my life with you_  
_I'll give my all to you -  
_

_- I promise that I will never lie to you, boy_ -

- "Aerith, I'm home!" Zack called as he entered the front door in the living room, Cloud and the brunette woman laid on the couch, Cloud on top of her and she beneath him, it was seemingly innocent; their heads snapped toward the door that Zack had just entered, they hopped from the couch quickly, unsure of how they were going to explain all the cake batter covering them.

"Hello, Zack! Late work?" Aerith asked walking over to him, hugging and kissing him on the cheek.

"You bet, hey I'm going to bed...okay?" He kissed her on the cheek and seemed to barely notice the blond man standing in the living room.  
"Hey Cloud, what are you doing here? Whats up with the cake batter?" he inquired clueless, Cloud cleared his throat and spoke swiftly and smooth "Just saying "Hi" to Aerith." He explained. Aerith hopped in and explained as well "I spilled that on him, I was baking a cake and he surprised me." she laughed nervously hoping that Zack wouldn't be suspicious with her.

"You were making a cake? Why?" He asked.  
"For you and me, silly!" She exclaimed her answer.

"Oh...well, I'm off to bed. see you Cloud." He bid them goodnight and gestured as if Cloud were just leaving.  
Cloud turned to Aerith and spoke, a smile breaching the corners of his lips "Goodnight, Aerith." She blushed a little and opened the door for him "Good night, Cloud."

He left her with his smile; engraved in _her_ heart.


	4. Be Dead In My Wake

*Sorry for any Grammar mistakes or the like.

:I was listening to an odd assortment of songs while writing this one, but I think if you read it you should listen to the following:  
**Smile like you Mean it by the Killers, May the Living be Dead in our Wake by Flogging Molly, The Fiddle and the Drum by A Perfect Circle**

**"To _know_ Beauty is Taste, but to _create_ Beauty is Art."  
Ralph Waldo Emerson  
**

* * *

Aerith and Zack were in their bedroom laying in there room they were awake in their bed, Zack had Aerith in his arms, smiling he cupped her face in his strong hands, Aerith felt like everything was normal again, Aerith kissed him and smiled.  
She was happy they were fixing everything, slowly but it was happening, they were getting their old selves back again.

"We should probably get out of bed now..." Aerith giggled, it was late in the afternoon they had stayed in bed for long after the sun had risen, after they had made love for the first time since their problems started, Aerith didn't want to get out really.  
Zack chuckled.

"Yeah we should start getting ready, their holding a party for the other Soldiers tonight, we should go together." He suggested to her kissing her temple.  
"Where else would I want to be?" She smiled into his deep dark blue eyes.

They got out of bed and began to get ready for the party, Aerith wanted to look good for their first night out after deciding to fix things, she wore Zack favorite color on her; Pink. She put her hair up in a clip that Zack had bought her, she decided to hold her bangs out of the way of her face and eyes with it, he always commented on how she shouldn't have bangs that cover up her beautiful face so on this night she decided to wear her hair special for him, even though she loved her bangs she wanted to make Zack happy. She wanted to show him she wanted to make things work again.

She looked in the mirror and finished her makeup, she smiled and felt an air of confidence fill her lungs. _'Everything's back to normal again..._' she thought to herself cheerfully, confidently.  
She turned the bathroom lights out and went outside where Zack had started the car up and was now waiting for her.

:::...:::

Zack and Aerith were at another business party, Aerith didn't know if Cissnei would be there and she wasn't going to goo looking for her either.  
Aerith and Zack were getting back on track slowly, or she thoughts so, they still argued about what Zack had done and he still went out sometimes unbeknown'st to Aerith where. Aerith had put on one of her favorite dresses and put her hair up in a diamond studded flower designed clip. Zack in a navy suit, he was with his work pals Reno and Rude laughing.

Aerith was at the refreshments table drinking whine and watching the party goers, occasionally getting generals to come up to her and congratulate her on getting herself a  
_good_ man.  
Aerith was baffled when some of them said it, its like they didn't even know what really went on. They _had_ to have;they must not have cared much what Zack did as long as he worked good while doing it. All the woman seemed to look down on Aerith as if she were below them, if the women on the other mens arms weren't models they were high-class models or actresses. Aerith had an elegantly designed glass of whine, she sipped while watching the passing guests.

A old and scornful looking woman walked up to Aerith, she had a high end nose that seemed to take on a life of its own as she began to speak in a scratchy-high pitched voice "So..." she said skeptically looking down at Aerith. "...You are Zack Fairs arm candy then?" she said laughing haughtily.  
Aerith's eyes narrowed and she bit her lip to prevent her self from snapping and causing a scene.

"Its to be expected of slum trash" she snarled "How you wiggled your way in to Zacks arms you little serpent, I will never know." she left adjusting the bun of hair she wore which was fake and it was painfully obvious, loose hair started to fall away as the woman stomped heavily on the ground.  
Aerith giggled as she watched the old woman walk away from the table of whine.

Aerith put a hand to her chin in though,_ I wonder if Clouds here...?_ A soldier walked by Aerith and she tugged at his arm to be ignored. Another walked by and she began to call to him to be yet again ignored.  
A few Turks walked by and she began to speak to them when she remembered that the Turks were some of the most rude people in the buisiness, she gave up on them quickly walking over to some more Soldiers and asked "Excuse me, is there a Cloud Strife here?" she asked politely.

"Whattaya want lady we're busy!" They screamed and left laughing at Aerith as they walked away.  
"How rude!" She huffed and crossed her arms turning the other way back to the whine table.

"Come on Aerith I wanna go home early!" Zack hollered waiting at the front door of the mansion-like building, Aerith turned and looked at him from across the floor, and grabbed her bag starting her way to the door where he had exited.  
_This is strange...?_ she thought to herself and adjusted her hair clip and earrings swinging her bag over her shoulder, as she came through the front stain glass doors. She came into the car as Zack pulled up, she entered with an awkward presence.  
"Zack whats wrong?" He looked at her from across the car seats he seemed angry.

"Aerith why were you asking around for Cloud in there?" He questioned "Everyone thinks you're cheating on me with him!" He exclaimed with slight rage and disbelief.  
"-But I'm not!" She defended herself.  
"But they think you are!" He exclaimed again. "All the people I'm working with...Aerith you embarrassed me!" Zack slammed his hands onto the steering wheel.  
"Zack they only think I'm cheating I'm not!" She stood string defending herself, her hand came to his arm comfortingly.

Zack brushed her hand away, and turned to her "Aerith I looked bad in front of everyone I work with that's my whole life! My job is everything! I'm sorry you don't care about it!" He exclaimed and assumed the worst of the brunette woman who sat across from him.  
"Oh...I'm sorry!" She exclaimed retracting her hand from the dark haired man, her brow narrowed in offense.  
"They _think_ I'm cheating Zack?-" she exclaimed "-As opposed to you _actually_ cheating on me!" Zack brought his fist to her face in rage as soon as she said this, his face was twisted and confused looking he didn't seem apologetic as he glare at her, he held an expression of resentment to her. Aerith held her eye that had started to swell dramatically, she looked at him brow furrowed once more, tears breaching her lashes.

Aerith exited hastily trying to get away from the man in the car and started to run fast to the mansion, her hand covered her mouth drowning out the sobs she let out, but her eyes began to water and her brow narrowed in apathy, she couldn't believe what he just did to her. It was like he was a different person then that who she thought she fell in love with. She ran ignoring Zacks calls to her. Aerith felt a painful throbbing in her eye the more tears fell and the more she choked out coughs of sadness.

"-Aeith!" Zack called out, he seemed as though he wanted to apologize, but Aerith couldn't look him in the eyes, not after what he did to her. _She'd never forgive him._

_:::...:::_

Aerith held ice to her swollen and bleeding eye, she had long since stopped crying, she just wanted to make it go away, she changed from her party dress at the mansion; she couldn't go home with Zack. No. She wouldn't go home with him, never again, not after the things he did to her.  
Aerith was wearing a white blouse and black pencil skirt she had large sunglasses with her to hide the bruise and to avoid question or suspicion.

She heard someone coming and squeezed them on over the painful injury on her face, and turned to the figure.

"Aerith? I though I heard crying, you alright?" it was Cloud who had entered the room with her now. Aerith forced a smile, but Cloud saw through it easily.  
She spoke in a weak voice " Yeah, I'm okay." He gave her a skeptical look "The why are you wearing sunglasses inside?" "No Cloud don't!" she tried to stop him as he walked up to her and brought his hand behind her ear, removing the sunglasses.  
His eyed widened and narrowed at the same time, anger brought a curl to his lip.

"Aerith, who did this?" He shouted in fear and anger.  
"No one Cloud shh!" She tried to quiet him down and covered her eye, worried someone may come in at any moment. She spoke "Give me the glasses Cloud..." she said worried, that's when it hit Cloud, who else would Aerith want to protect? Who would be so badly effected by this? It had to be Zack.

"No..." he said regretfully under low breath, he looked at Aerith with sympathy for her and anger, hatred a resentment for Zack, How could he do such a thing? It just wasn't who he was?

Cloud grabbed Aerith and pulled her into a hug, his hand on the back of her head, his brow was flat in sadness, he couldn't believe what...who he let around her.  
Somehow he felt this was on his shoulders, and the feeling got heavier as Aerith began to sob into his chest and ask him why something like this happened? Why someone she loved, someone she trusted had betrayed her.  
Cloud couldn't answer those questions for her he comforted her and promised to stay with her as long as she needed, but he did know the answer to one thing; He'd never let this happen to her again, he swore it to himself.


End file.
